Despite supreme failures in 2016 WizKids Open events in both spring and fall, I decided to take the 2-hour drive to yet another this winter.

This time, though, unlike spring’s Ginger Gals force or the “Let’s Not Even Get To Roll For Our Spider-Verse trait” Celebrity theme, I had a team that might be able to win more than one round, with it being anchored by Heroclixin’s No. 2 best figure of 2016, Jakeem Thunder:

Jakeem Thunder [Joker’s Wild 053b] 140 + Hulkbuster Torso 10

Engineer [Flash 060] 90

Jean Grey [Uncanny X-Men Fast Forces 002] 50

SHIELD Level 7 ID card 5

Ant-Man ID card 5

= 300 points. Sideline: Nick Fury, Jr. [NFAOS Fast Forces 001], Ant-Man [Original Avengers Fast Forces 005]

I play tested this force a bit sans the ID card. It seemed strong, with Jean able to freely sling a potential pair of HSS fighters about. But I still held reservations about it all. The best players in this sort of event are the kind who have a planned strategy they can apply every game. My play style is decidedly reactive, so I can’t plan anything out. That’s why the pick-a-power pieces appeal greatly to me, enabling me to adjust on the fly.

Unfortunately, it also gave me the means to FAIL AT HEROCLIX IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY in my opening round.

 

METHOD ONE: Map

I lost map roll and selected a starting area. As failures go, this isn’t huge. But it was part of the Avalanche Effect that seems to plague at least half my games.

 

METHOD OF FAILURE TWO: Positioning

Normally, I’m good at positioning. But not this time, as it combined with my map failure above to snowball into a loss. The short of it was that I Sidestepped Engineer into the one square that would give my opponent an easy, low-risk line of fire to KO her with one Running Shot, because…

 

METHOD THREE: Power selection

The key to a swissblade team is picking the right powers. In this instance, I chose Plasticity and Probability Control over Shape Change. In the back of my mind was the fact that the Shifting Focus Superman I was facing had Hypersonic Speed and the Wrath relic. It didn’t occur to me that the Plasticity nullified the HSS threat. Shape Change was the needed layer of defense that I passed on.

Engineer was one-shot.

 

I wasn’t done picking poorly. In a bid to one-shot Superman, I chose Charge and Exploit Weakness (because Supes was equipped with Brainiac for Impervious). But I wasted Sidestep to pick up my ultra heavy object with the Super Strength I didn’t have. It would have been better to use HSS with Super Strength at the risk of the damage being reduced to 0 because….

 

METHOD FOUR: Crit happens

…I critically missed on the attack with my own Probability Control. And now Jakeem was stranded next to Superman, who used Brainiac’s Outwit to counter my Prob so I could suffer from his critical HIT.

 

METHOD FIVE: No comeback

I retreated to hindering terrain to try to Regen under cover of Stealth. But rolled a two for no healing. And so JT was KO’d in short order because Stealth was no defense against Superman Ally team ability.

 

METHOD SIX: Illegality

I was down to Jean Grey, trying to at least KO Atomica for her scant points. And she hit! But she got Probability Controlled into a miss.

It wasn’t until the third round of the tournament that I recalled this little trait she has:

TIME LOCKED: Opposing characters can’t use Probability Control to reroll attacks made by or targeting this character.

That wasn’t even the worst bit. No, that was

 

METHOD SEVEN

She shouldn’t have been making an attack at all. Not when she was token free and thus able to activate either of the TWO ID CARDS I’D BUILT INTO THE FORCE JUST IN CASE SHE NEEDED TO GET INTO THE FIGHT. But I forgot them completely until after the game.

Not only is Nick’s 11 AV BCF a much better play than her bare 10 AV, but he might’ve blocked LOF to save her from being shot next turn.

 

This was a game where a Colossal Retaliation was waiting to happen and it never even got triggered.

 

METHOD EIGHT

My sorry showing landed me the bye for Round Two. I was sorely tempted to drop altogether and just play battle royals. But the pods filled up before I could join in.

 

“I drove all the way to another state for THIS?” I said, only half joking.

 

I can’t write anymore. I’ll finish this story up later.